An updated version of Wordsworth’s ‘Upon Westminster Bridge’ This sight I fear is less fair than it was: Packed pavements, crush and rush...

An account in verse of a medical procedure undergone I feel that first sharp jab into the gum And, gazing up, must wait until it’s numb....

A poem expressing distaste for someone or something widely considered to be beautiful Conceived within a marble slab And chiselled out to...

The gripping final 150 words of the first instalment of a serial thriller Assured of a handsome income despite the dubious outcome, I...

The plot of a well-known novel condensed into 16 lines of verse. Bright bonnie Connie, though less bonnie latterly, Marries a knight and...

The spiel Mrs Malaprop might give in her capacity as a tour guide to a capital city …unfortunately hidden behind the dabble-dicker bus....

An entertaining and plausible piece of prose using words of only four letters ‘Poor Jack,’ Jill says, ‘sore head, huge lump, deep scar!’...

An Ode on an Expiring Snail Oh hideous crunch! Oh sad and sorry sight! Oh wretched creature writhing in distress Whose slow, meandering...

A short story which begins with ‘Of course he knew – no man better – that he hadn’t the ghost of a chance, he hadn’t an earthly’, and...

A poem which takes the line: ‘How do I hate you? Let me count the ways’ as its first line How do I hate you? Let me count the ways. I...

A dialogue between two body parts composed on the occasion of a hangover A knotty problem this one, but a problem we can share, A tough...

A hitherto (imaginary) unpublished extract by Lewis Carroll relating the further adventures of Alice The adventures of Alice in the...

A poem to be included in an imaginary sequel to AA Milne’s ‘Now We Are Six’ entitled, ‘Now We Are Eighty Six’ I never was a good man –...

Toe-curlingly bad analogies The winding country lane snaked endlessly ahead like a continuous series of lavatory S bends joined together...

A short story which incorporates six book titles Having pulled himself together after being outwitted by the miller’s daughter,...

A problem submitted to a well-known literary figure cast in the role of agony uncle and his response. Dear Uncle Eddie. Our daughter...

A sequel to Edward Lear’s ‘The Owl and the Pussy-Cat The Owl and the Pussy-Cat sailed away From the land where the Bong-tree grows, And...

Extract from the diary of a Shakespearian character who has woken up to find him or herself transported to the present day June the...

An acrostic poem in which the first letter of each line spells out the words, Happy New Year Hi, mother dear. Yes, Uni’s great, no news –...

A teetotallers’ Drinking Song to herald the New Year When I was a toddler, good as gold, Upon my mother’s knee, She said, ‘Little lad, if...