A Christmas hit single rewritten as a sonnet. Let carollers with cheerful voices sing Of new times coming as the old times go, And,...

A poem about Thomas Cook I’ve travelled much, at first to serve the Lord Delivering Baptist pamphlets close to home, Then venturing...

Lines for a Christmas card courtesy of well-known poets God bless thee all this yuletide With plenteous ale, and meat, And may thy...

A story entitled ‘The man who did not’ The room was ready. Could this be the man for the job? He was shown to a chair and invited to sit....

When Matins ended, Bert was keen To slip away from church unseen, He wasn’t one to stand and snicker Making small talk with the vicar....

Happy clappy choruses to Edwin were a pain, Their snappy happy rhythms all but drove the man insane. ‘Lead, kindly Light, amid the...

One Sunday, during matins, Maud was in a restless state, Her mind was in a whirl and she couldn’t concentrate. The prayer book words...

Ronald was the thinking kind, An egghead some would say, A man of independent mind, More scientifically inclined Than some who go to...

Thomas was a surly soul who hated getting old And spent his life complaining that the church was much too cold. To suffer things in...

When church was opened up once more (With some still wore their masks) The time was ripe as most felt sure To redistribute tasks. Though...

The canon sometimes gabbled and, instead of ‘Let us pray’, He’d blurt out something similar but more like ‘lettuce spray’. For spraying...

Repentance is a funny thing, we promise every week To live the new and godly life that all good men should seek, But never live it ‘ever’...

For Meg the annual choir-do turned out to be a killer: Arriving late the one seat left was right behind a pillar, Every year Meg came...

Young Roger was a businessman, Never ‘Can I?’ More ‘I can.’ He drank his lemon minus lime, Since adding lime would waste more time. Roger...

Jim found the Te Deum a tedious trial And, sad though it seems, it’s beyond all denial. The words were all right. They were cheerful...

To open each service, the vicar would start By thanking God keenly with all of his heart. The poor congregation could never be sure When...

Matthew was an honest man: a truly truthful fella. But, on the way to church one day, he borrowed an umbrella. Caught in rain, without a...

“No more!” the curate whispered, “Or you’ll put me on the spot. The sentence ‘Drink ye all of this’ Does not mean drink the lot!”

Toby loved his local church; a ‘regular’ was he, No one could accuse the man of inconsistency And, when the collection plate appeared, he...

The organist suddenly started to weep As he played through a fugue in E flat. Why is it,” he whimpered, “as soon as I play People think...