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A poem in dispraise of August

Augustus Caesar is to blame

For blighting August with his name,

A month which only fools could claim

Has merit to defend it.

Horrendous holidays to bear,

Annoying school kids everywhere,

Mad insects flitting through the air,

Oh Autumn! Come and end it!

‘Silly-season’ news reports,

Adolescents quaffing quarts,

Oldies in outdated shorts!

Oh, who can comprehend it?

The sudden rain, the blocked-up drain,

The plumber somewhere out in Spain.

August is a total pain

With nothing to commend it.