A Swarm of Bees

A passage which incorporates the following words:

Benidorm, biscuit, belatedly, buff, beckoned, bosom, banjaxed, barrister, blue, bastard, baloney and bank

An internet source stated that Coleridge, banjaxed on opium, arrived belatedly at Dove Cottage in the buff one autumn, blue with cold, shouting, ‘Forget Keats’ Close bosom friend! I’m frozen!’

Dorothy, seemingly unperturbed, proceeded to bank up the fire and offer him soup with a freshly baked, homemade oatmeal biscuit.

As soon as he’d eaten, William beckoned him over requesting assistance. ‘What rhymes with warm?’ he sighed, clearly struggling with part four of his ‘Intimations’. ‘Would arm do?’

‘You might as well rhyme bustard with bastard. Why not try Benidorm?’ Coleridge suggested. ‘It rhymes with warm and is warm.’ With that, quite obviously the worse for wear, he stumbled upstairs, dislodged the banister and muttered, guiltily, ‘Whoops! I’ve broken the barrister!’

A number of this year’s A level candidates accepted this fictional nonsense as gospel.

Only those with the highest pass marks dismissed it as utter baloney.