As the bishop said to the ...

As the bishop said to the rook,

‘There are only two moves in my book,

A diagonal flight to the left or the right

With the aid of my clerical crook.’

‘Not so!’ said the rook in defence,

‘I’ll wager you seventy pence

That “up or across”, not to argue the toss,

Are the only two moves that make sense.’

Said the bishop, ‘It’s patently plain

Such tactics might grant a small gain.’

But a move, rather deft, a diagonal left,

Saw the bishop backtracking again.

Quite clearly the two were elated

As each one the other berated

But what made them sing was that only the king

And not either of them could be mated.