Gizza Job

A job application by a well-known writer

Dear Sir, with pleasure I apply

To be a keeper at your zoo

Of creatures none knows more than I

Nor so deserves an interview.

I know the chimp is not a chump,

And why a trogon never trots

And how the camel got its hump

And why the leopard grew its spots.

I know how rhinos got their skin,

Why kangaroos such long tails grow,

And all about the origin

Of what made animals ‘just so’.

There’s not a beast I don’t adore

Nor any creature that I hate,

Oh please employ me I implore,

You’ll find no finer candidate.

(Rudyard Kipling)