Love lecture

A poem offering poetic advice on how to pick up, seduce and keep a lover

To kindle the flames from a heart of frost

And enrapture the woman who’s meant for you,

Adopt the expression of ‘little boy lost’

With the tiniest hint of ‘little boy blue’.

And seeing you helpless and slightly forlorn

Her maternal instincts will be released,

But as soon as they are, and love is born,

You must give her a glimpse of your inner beast.

Do not despair if, at first, she is haughty

Or throw in the towel if she acts the prude,

Entice her along with the vaguely naughty

Then slowly progress to the downright rude!

And when there is nothing new to discover

As passion fades and your lust dies down,

Remember, each night, to assure her you love her

Before you slip out to the Rose and Crown.