Modern types

A poem describing the modern grumbler

Modern grumblers vent their spleen

On what they see as shameful wrongs:

On girls who think it not obscene

To flaunt their midriffs and their thongs;

Opposed to fashion, grumbler’s baulk

At trendy types who feel at ease

With sloppy ‘Estuary’ talk

And ‘fink it’s fine’ to drop their ‘t’s.

Most grumblers like to air their woes

In freebies on the Letters page

Or late-night local radio shows

That feed upon their midnight rage.

But on this point, and this alone,

All grumblers grudgingly agree:

That none would feel the need to moan

If ‘fings’ were as they used to be.