Perfectly Beastly

Rules (6 for each sex) for those aspiring to become either perfect cads or complete bitches

Engage in teamwork by letting the team do the work.

Only confront your enemies from behind.

Leave your wallet at home if it might be needed.

Plead ‘prior engagements’ whenever your help is required.

Be sure to drink more than you take to a bottle party.

‘Play’ true to your mistress while secretly wooing her daughter.

Bitches

Whatever is asked or suggested respond with ‘Whatever!’

Never say anything nice behind anyone’s back.

Always return a compliment with an insult.

At the slightest whiff of a rumour, fan the fire.

Confide to everyone anything offered in confidence.

Where hurt can be caused, make much of a little – or little of much.