Poor Relation

A song beginning: ‘Oh, what have you done to your…?’ filling the blank with a relative

Oh, what have you done to your Maiden Aunt Sue?

She’ll not be the same again.

She was wandering down to her outside loo

On a cold winter’s night in the rain;

Oh how could you play such a childish prank?

It shook the poor dear to the core.

She was all on her own in the dark and the dank

With no inkling of what lay in store.

Oh, how could you do such a terrible thing?

Do you feel no remorse or regret?

I can still hear her screams as she suffered the sting

Of a sitting she’ll never forget.

Her horrified face turned as white as a sheet

In the wake of your fatuous folly.

Imagine her shock when, expecting a seat,

Aunt found herself sitting on holly.