Thanks But No Thanks

An author’s acknowledgement page containing subtle indications that no thanks are due to those mentioned

I should like to extend my wholehearted thanks to all without whom The Saga of the Vijayanagara Empire might never have been written: to my old Uni tutor for checking the manuscript and responding by return of post with no criticisms or comments; to the many commissioning editors for their reluctant rejections and memorable advice; to Hilary Mantel in anticipation of a reply to my request for her opinion of my writing ability; to the Hatfield Historical Society for their promise to bear me in mind as a possible guest speaker; to my dear wife for giving me the space to work by returning with the children to her parents’ house; to the Sri Krishnadevaraya University for their intriguing correspondence which I hope to have translated from Telugu into English and, finally, to the Narcissus Self Publishing Company to whom I am much indebted for eventually producing the book.