A poem beginning, ‘April is the cruellest girl…’. April is the cruellest girl, A mean, obscene, conniving churl, A trashy, imitation...

A passage to explain a piece of prose which ends with these three sentences – ‘There was only one thing to do. I gave the umbrella away...

A poem on the news that the Queen has succeeded in crossing a dachshund with a corgi, thus producing a dorgi All royal dogs should please...

An imaginary newspaper report announcing some piece of ‘scientific’ research purporting to prove something either obvious or bizarre...

A recipe in rhyming verse If you’re a bachelor like me You’re sure to love this recipe. Here’s what you need: a grill, a ring, Some bread...

A poem with the following rhyme scheme: starts, hearts, crust, dust, slit, wit, immense, sense, more, core, esteem, gleam, strikes, likes...

A character sketch analysing and illustrating the behaviour of one contemporary human being Notable among timeless types is the...

A rhymed motto for an everyday domestic object The gleam of the tiles for pleasure, The lock on the door for peace, The cool, comfy seat,...

A passage in the style of Anthony Powell beginning with the words, ‘The dwarf passed out about five o’clock…’ The dwarf passed out about...

An acrostic poem in which the first letters of the lines spell out FIFTY-POUND NOTE Felicity Ford was a saver, Intelligent, godly and...

A poetic dialogue between two country dwellers appropriate to the season ‘Christmas Eve, come twelve of the clock and the missus will be...

A poetic dialogue between God and dog In cosy, canine Canaan by Saint Bernard’s pearly gate Our death-dealt dog, forlorn and lost, looks...

A light poem on the subject of a serious medical condition I have to confess that a source of much humour Was poor Aunt Veronica’s...

A sharp rejoinder on the part of a character questioned in a well-known line of poetry A question such as yours, sir, needs putting in...

When Matins ended, Bert was keen To slip away from church unseen, He wasn’t one to stand and snicker Making small talk with the vicar....

Happy clappy choruses to Edwin were a pain, Their snappy happy rhythms all but drove the man insane. ‘Lead, kindly Light, amid the...

One Sunday, during matins, Maud was in a restless state, Her mind was in a whirl and she couldn’t concentrate. The prayer book words...

Ronald was the thinking kind, An egghead some would say, A man of independent mind, More scientifically inclined Than some who go to...

Thomas was a surly soul who hated getting old And spent his life complaining that the church was much too cold. To suffer things in...

When church was opened up once more (With some still wore their masks) The time was ripe as most felt sure To redistribute tasks. Though...