A poem offering poetic advice on how to pick up, seduce and keep a lover To kindle the flames from a heart of frost And enrapture the...

A poem naming, in each line, a startling event which will occur during each month of the year and ending with a four-line glimpse of a...

A poem in the voice of a fed-up soldier far from home I long for old Cheapside, the tavern, the ale, And the merry, late-night revels,...

A poem on the theme of ‘Dinner with the Devil’ She was five and twenty and I was fifty eight! I thought I’d hit the jackpot when she said...

The life story of a famous fictional character reduced to three limericks A haughty young madam, Miss Havisham, Spinster of somewhere...

A poem about the last smoker on Earth The last weed smoked of any type On Earth was Bert’s. He smoked a pipe, Not smack or crack or even...

A poem beginning ‘I do not know much about dogs’ I do not know much about dogs But I know quite a lot about bears And badgers and beavers...

A reply in blank verse by the maid addressed in Tennyson’s poem: “Come down, oh maid, from yonder mountain height: What pleasure lives in...

A poem offering four parental vetoes on children’s behaviour followed by four juvenile vetoes on parental behaviour You’re almost eleven...

A poem incorporating the titles of West End theatrical productions current in 2005 Oh yes, I remember the birthday party And meeting the...

A poem expressing aversion to what is popularly regarded as picturesque I hate the stuff: it’s only straw For rooks to rob and rats to...

A poem describing the modern grumbler Modern grumblers vent their spleen On what they see as shameful wrongs: On girls who think it not...

A poem describing regret at failing to keep a New Year resolution Through being short, each woman that I meet Presents me with a...

A poem beginning in the same way as Gilbert’s ‘A policeman’s lot is not a happy one’ but with some other worker replacing the policeman A...

An imaginary extract from the libretto of the flop musical, ‘Oscar Wilde’ Oscar Oh, Bosie, will you love me just the same?...

A passage which incorporates these 12 Christmasy words in a non-Christmasy way: ‘present, boxing, wise men, wait, log, merry, goose,...

A rhymed malediction beginning with ‘A curse upon the man who first…’ A curse upon the man who first, By sneezing carelessly, dispersed...

Rules (6 for each sex) for those aspiring to become either perfect cads or complete bitches Engage in teamwork by letting the team do the...

A poem involving a famous person and an unlikely pet When Bach bought a bison, an act he’d regret, He wrongly presumed that a...

An extract from a diary of someone travelling with a memorable aunt When Aunt said, ‘All we need is a tandem and a tent,’ the die was...